My first in fact. This time last year I knew I was an expected mother, but this year....this is my first. I've always wanted to be a mom. I wanted the 2.5 kids. From mothering my baby brother to working with children of all ages in schools, nurseries and daycares. I was one of those children, a girly girl, who had hundreds of dolls and stuffed animals and I could recite their every name. They were my babies and I was their mommy. Beyond playing house, I am now living the real thing.
When I had Caleigh and she was so teeny tiny, I was concerned that my motherhood would be cut short. I still have thoughts occasionally of our family's uncertainty, but I have learned so much about being a mother in the past 9 months. I've met wonderful mothers. Mothers of multiples, mothers that lost their children, and mothers that love the babies that someone did not. No matter what the circumstances, these strong women are mothers and will always be.
Motherhood, to me, has many meanings. Worry, joy, self-doubt, hope, guilt, dreams, heartache, patience and the most unimaginable feeling of love ever known. Motherhood is sleepless nights, napless days, crying with your baby and in our case smiling & laughing at Caleigh on a daily basis. These may be very different from your ideas of motherhood, but that's what makes each mommy special, the differences.
And then, I think about my mom on mother's day. How did she do it for so many years? How she must have felt with me at 9 months old. She always said "just wait till you have children." I now understand the joys and heartache of being a mother and my journey has just begun. All I can say is......... thank you and I love you mom.
Mother's do it because they want to and because they need to.
Your not a mother once but a mother forever.
To all the mommies out there Happy Mother's Day!
We made it home and I'm working on a post with all the details.....coming soon.