Made of Gray

Feliz Dia Del Padre

Holly D Gray3 Comments
Today was Father's Day, Caleigh's 10 month birthday and a day filled full of withdraw drama.

I didn't remember giving birth to a horse, but apparently that's what we have. Caleigh is on one medication after another and nothing seems to be cutting the edge. We have upped the Methadone, Valium, added a clonidine patch and are now giving Morphine and Versed in between to help the withdraws. Caleigh hasn't been sleeping again and seems to be getting used to all the meds. We just had night time rounds and they upped all the medicine again. It's so frustrating to be on 5 different meds just to get off of 2. It makes no sense to me and Caleigh's discomfort just seems so unnecessary. Uggghhhhh!

Another problem we are having is Caleigh's respiratory rate. It seems the more unstable her medicines are the higher her breathing rate is. With the upped dosage of medicines she is doing much better with this. We are just worried because she has been breathing so fast for the last three days. Caleigh is still on the nasal cannula with a 1/4 of oxygen. Her oxygen saturation has been 97 to 100 on this, with 100 being perfect. Everyone seems to be pretty sure she doesn't need the oxygen, but for right now with her breathing being like it is, they want to leave it for comfort more than anything.Eric's first Father's Day was full of worry. He just wants his little girl to feel better. What a good husband and daddy he is. I'm so proud of him. I beam pride when talking about what a good daddy he is to Caleigh. I always knew he would be a good father. It's hard for men to handle a situation like ours. Lots of men run in the other direction, but not our guy. When Eric and I first found out that Caleigh would be born with Gastroschisis; we made a pack to stick it out, communicate and offer each other the support and time needed to deal with something like this. Our little agreement has worked. Eric is our rock and Caleigh and I couldn't do this without him. I love Eric more than ever, and I know for a fact Caleigh has him wrapped around her little finger. Such a daddy's girl.......

Here's to my dad. The strongest, sweetest, most caring man. Always doing anything for his family. Even letting me drag him around Vegas in 90 degree heat! I love you Dad!


And on Caleigh's 10 month birthday, I think back. Back to the almost 7 mths in the NICU, back to the first night home, back to our recent trip to Pittsburgh. Back...... I can't think of my life without Caleigh. What a dramatic, powerful and inspiring life Caleigh has already led......
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