Made of Gray

A Nurse

Holly D Gray13 Comments
Tomorrow is the day. The day Caleigh gets a nurse at home.

It's been a long time of fighting it. It's been wearing on my controlling nature. Shouldn't a mother be able to take care of her child herself? My mom did and her mom before her. What's wrong with that mother if she can't? Am I going to hate having someone else in our home or will it fit like a glove and just work?

I'm a picky person. This first nurse may not be the perfect fit. She might be Glenda The Good never know.

I have to tell this point I wish I had the money to hire a nanny that could help with house duties and Caleigh. A nurse doesn't do that. You should see the notebook that has Caleigh's plan of care in it. The nurse is a nurse. Charting throughout the day. Filling out incident reports. Checking off medications at the beginning and end of every shift. A nanny wouldn't even have those things on their mind. I seem to have a stereotype set up for a home nurse. Like they start off looking at your child in a different way. A disabled way. A medical way. I don't want that for Caleigh. Or maybe I don't want that for me? A nanny is in your home to help the child and you in a different way. A more naive way. Maybe my predisposed stereotypes are wrong. I hope so. For right now, nursing is covered by our insurance and Caleigh's MDCP medicaid. It's covered and it is accessible to us right now and we need the help.

If Caleigh has a doctors appointment, we have to take our nurse with us. If she has a therapy appointment out of the home, the nurse goes. I feel like the public perception of that is that I can't do it by myself. Why should I care about the public? I shouldn't.

I can do it by myself, with my amazing, supportive husband, but I can't do everything else too. What I can't do is keep up with the laundry, clean the dishes, vacuum, go shopping, go running. I can't be the friend I used to be, the daughter or granddaughter I once was. And my gosh, if you could see my scary eyebrows right now! There's just no time to get them waxed. I cancel one hair appointment after another. I'm still lucky if I get a shower everyday. Although Caleigh never misses her bath. Priorities change when you have a child no doubt about it, but when you have a special needs child your life tends to stop in it's tracks. I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong. I'm just yearning for some balance in our life. Eric and I have been treading water for so long now, it's time for help.

I went to the doctor this morning. I've got an upper respiratory infection with lots of fluid behind my ears. No wonder I don't feel good. I don't know if tomorrow will be the best day to start nursing, but in all fairness I don't think it will ever be the perfect time.

So those of you out there with home did you start out? Do you have a routine in place for your child that the nurse follows? Does your nurse help with therapies as part of that routine? Do you treat her/him like an employee or like a friend? What have your unique experiences been with nursing?

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