Made of Gray

Powerful Anticipation

Holly D Gray9 Comments
On the slight chance that I sound ridiculously dramatic.....These beautiful leaves are just a tiny metaphor for how our lives will be turning this week.

In a little less than 32 hours Caleigh will be cruising around our home all by herself in her very own power chair. The anticipation is killing me.....

The feeling is close to that of a 6 year old at Christmas time. I seriously can't think about anything else. I can barely talk about anything else. It's like waiting on a $30K present. A present that doesn't quite fit down the chimney. A present that will forever change the independence of our little girl.

I keep thinking about the reaction on her face. Will she "get it" right away? Will there be holes in our walls? And who really cares about holes when your child can move around on her own? Will she be able to maneuver herself around Target while I push a basket? Will she try to "run" off like a 3 year old sometimes does? What if she is watching Sesame Street in the morning, but wants to see what I'm doing in the kitchen; will she be able to spin around and go to the kitchen? How difficult will the chair be loading and unloading from our van? Will the power chair be the last straw on my already achy back? Will she be able to use her chair at our friend's houses? Where are the wheelchair ramps? Will she be treated differently? How much time during the day should she be in the chair? I could go on and on.......

Of course, we won't know all the answers right away. Things will evolve with time, but still, my mind is racing.
I've watched the video of Caleigh doing circles in the demo chair almost a million times. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but today alone Caleigh and I have watched it 4 times together. I've also watched tons of videos with kids similar to Caleigh using their power chairs. I have definitely lost a few hours of my life to this new hobby.

We have talked about the color of her new chair. We have discussed being able to move whenever she wants to, and that by just moving her arm, her body won't be fighting against her as much as moving her whole body. We have talked about 'stop' and 'go' and how important it is to know when to stop especially if someone is telling you to do so. Caleigh understands that she is getting a new chair this week. When I asked her if she was excited, she replied "yes" "yes".

Tomorrow will be a long day. I've tried to fill it to the brim with things to do. Grammie and Grampa are coming over in the morning. Then we have speech therapy. Then we will do preschool. Then nap. Then OT. Then maybe some shopping to pass the time. Who knows? Anything to pass the time.
The independence that this chair could potentially bring to our family is nearly breath taking. We can't wait to see what Wednesday holds.
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