Made of Gray

Moon walk backwards

201 Days in the NICUHolly D Gray6 Comments
Well, Caleigh hit her stopping point this morning. With her belly painfully distended we stopped her feeds once more. They put her G-button to gravity and then changed it to suction to help decompress her tummy. We probably got 100ml of green stomach acid out with the help of suction. Her tummy is still huge but looks a tiny bit more comfortable. Lets see if I can give you the run down.... ok, she got tons of bloodwork done, lots of new meds and we scheduled her for another contrast study at 7:45am tomorrow. Some of the preliminary bloodwork came back saying that Caleigh has an infection. We will know exactly what kind of infection in 24 hrs. So she is on three different antibotics & two meds to help with her motility. No formula of course and so she is on her TPN all day again. They are only cycling off for two hours a day instead of eight so Caleigh's bilirubin is sure to go up again. The contrast study is to see if there is another obstruction and if they find one then we will be ready for surgery again. Praying that there isn't surgery in our future. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Today was a really hard day, not just for Caleigh & I, but for everyone in the NICU. Around 2 or 3 a baby in the adjacent room passed away. We could hear the mom crying out in pain. Not a dry eye in the room, we were all silent. Crying, holding Caleigh's little hand; I wondered why? This happens a lot in the NICU, this is life, but why? 30 yrs ago if Caleigh had been born with the challenges that she has now, she wouldn't have made it. I would be that mom, crying, yelling. As I sat next to my daughter praying for the baby and it's grieving family; I realized that I have been caught up in details and taking the day to day time with Caleigh for granted. Being positive and naive contributes to the life taken for granted. What if? At that moment I really realized that Caleigh has been in the hospital for so long because she is a sick baby. I hadn't come to admit it yet, I have a sick baby. Why was that so hard for me? Blocking it out, I guess. Of course she is a 'fighter' & 'strong' & all the other fearless words we have described her as, but at that moment she was my sick, fragile, still not home yet, baby.

Please pray for this family and their beautiful baby and all the families that have lost their children.

Thank you to everyone that replied with financial advisors. I'll write everything down & when Caleigh comes home.......I'll deal with it then. Being with our baby is number one right now.
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